*It was another bright day in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash was flying around, carrying what appeared a large tortoise shell on her back*
Rainbow Dash: Alright! Another pet at the park! You ready for this, Tank?
Tank: *pokes his head out from his shell and gurgles*
Rainbow Dash: We gotta work on that attitude of yours. You know, light a fire under that shell. Not literally, of course.
Tank: *gurgles again*
*Just then, Rainbow Dash arrived at the park with Tank. Applejack was already there with her dog Wynona. The two them were playing fetch*
Applejack: *looks up to see Rainbow Dash and Tank* Oh, howdy, Rainbow, Tank! Glad you could join us.
Rainbow Dash: Would've gotten here sooner, but Tank took forever in the bathroom.
Applejack: Hey, where's his copter pack?
Rainbow Dash: I
kinda broke it. I was seeing how much weight it could lift and I guess I added one bowling ball too many.
Applejack: *raises an eyebrow* Uh-huh
Rainbow Dash: Eh, I'm sure Twilight will just fix it for me.
*Just then Twilight, walked by with Owlowiscious perched on her back*
Twilight: Don't count on it, Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Huh? How come?
Twilight: I think it would be best if you learned how to fix it for when it happens again.
Rainbow Dash: It'd be easier if I had a horn like yours
Applejack: You're starting to sound like that one pony that likes to sit weird.
Twilight: Well anyway, I hope Mezmo gets here. This would be his first pet day here in Ponyville.
*At that moment, Mezmo arrived at the park with Salem in his arms*
Rainbow Dash: Alright! The magic man made it. How ya doin', Mez?
Mezmo: Eh, I'm okay. Kinda feels weird without Fluttershy around, you know.
Twilight: Well you can't deny a request from the emperor of Neighpon.
Mezmo: Yeah. Anyway, I brought Salem with me, just like you asked.
Twilight: Great! Welcome to your first pet day here in the park.
Mezmo: Salem's been cooped up in the house for so long that he's starting to get lazy
and a little chubby. So maybe some fresh air and exercise could to do him some good.
Applejack: So should we get started or wait for the others?
Mezmo: Well, we're ready whenever you girls are.
Twilight: I suppose we can get started and wait for Rarity and Pinkie.
Mezmo: *puts Salem down and whispers in his ear* Just keep saying meow and don't get into trouble, okay?
Salem: *whispering* Kid, I've been doing this for decades. I know how to be discreet.
Mezmo: *whispering* Says the guy who tried to fool his ex-girlfriend with a store mannequin. *goes and sits on a bench*
Rainbow Dash: *looks over at Applejack* Why was Mezmo whispering to his cat?
Applejack: What's wrong with talking to your pet? *looks to Wynona* Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl?
Rainbow Dash: Not what I-- Oh never mind.
*Moments later, everyone, minus Fluttershy, were at the park with their pets. Even Spike and his baby phoenix Peewee were there*
Mezmo: Hey Spike, I didn't know you had a pet. And a Phoenix, too, huh? Cool! Just like Celestia.
Spike: Yeah, his name's Peewee. To think I almost smashed the little guy when he was just an egg.
Mezmo: Whoa! Seriously?!
Spike: Long story short, dragon peer pressure.
Mezmo: That's some peer pressure.
Rarity: Well I'm glad my little Spikey-wikey wouldn't give into something so nasty.
Mezmo: *looks to Rainbow and Tank* A tortoise, huh? I've got to say, Rainbow, that's quite the contrast.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, Tank may not be the fastest animal in the world, but he's good, loyal and an all-around pal.
Tank: *smiles and nods in agreement* Mmm
*While everyone was talking, Rarity's cat, Opal walked up to Salem and purred softly next to him*
Salem: *sees Opal* Huh? What do you want?
*continues to approach Salem*
Pinkie: Hey Rarity, your cat seems to really like Mezzy's.
Rarity: Not surprised, there aren't many males cats left in town that aren't afraid of her.
Opal: *leans against Salem and nuzzles under his chin* Mrrrrmm
Salem: *pushes Opal away* Hey, do you mind? You're invading my personal space here!
*Opal continued to play with Salem. Rubbing up against him, brushing him with her tail, and fluttering her eyes at him*
Salem: Whoa! *pulls away from Opal* Okay! Feeling REALLY uncomfortable right now.
Twilight: Um, Mezmo, I think your cat needs some help. Last time Opal gave a boy cat that look, Ms. Rose Petals calico had to be fished out of the lake.
Mezmo: Huh? *sees Opal messing around with Mezmo* Uh-oh! Don't worry, I got him! *rushes over to Salem*
Salem: Kid! Help! I'm not ready to settle down just yet.
Mezmo: *arrives at the scene and picks Salem up in his arms* I think you've had enough fun for one day. Let's get you home.
*Opal then began to hiss angrily and swipe at Mezmo with her sharp claws*
Rarity: *turns around to see Opal hissing at Mezmo and Salem* Mezmo! Don't get between Opal and something she wants!
Mezmo: Well, he's MY cat!
*Suddenly, Opal jumped up and grabbed onto Mezmo's leg, digging her claws deep into his skin*
Mezmo: *eyes widen in pain* YAAAAHHHH!!!! *accidentally throws Salem into the air and tries to get Opal off his leg* GET HER OFF!!!
Salem: *flying through the air* WAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!
Applejack: Did that cat just holler like a person?
Salem: *lands on top of Pinkie's face and holds onto it for dear life* PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SACRED, KEEP THAT CRAZY CAT AWAY FROM ME!!!! *starts wailing like a baby*
*All the ponies just stared at Salem, in awe of what they'd just heard*
Salem: *eyes around, realizing what he had just said* I mean
Mezmo: *face-palms* Oh no
Pinkie: I KNEW IT!!! I knew cats could talk!! *pulls Salem off her face and leers at Opal* You've got a lot of explaining to do.
*Later, at Mezmo's cottage, the Mane Five were gathered in the living room, waiting for Mezmo to explain what happened earlier at the park*
Applejack: So let me see if I understand what you're telling us. Your cat
Isn't a cat.
Mezmo: You hit the nail right on the head, AJ.
Rainbow Dash: But he looks like a cat
And I'm pretty sure I've seen him lick himself.
Salem: Hey, I've got to keep myself clean somehow, don't I?
Pinkie: But what about the other talking cats?
Twilight: Pinkie, there aren't any other talking cats. It's just
Okay, so if he isn't a cat, what is he?
Mezmo: My uncle.
Applejack: *raises an eyebrow* Come again?
My great, great, grand-uncle, to be precise. Salem Saberhagen. He used to be a warlock, but got turned into a cat for a hundred years by the Witch's Council as punishment for a crime he committed.
Rarity: Punishment?! What did he do that earned him such treatment?
Salem: Oh, well, like any young kid, I dreamed of world domination. Of course they really crack down when you act upon it.
Twilight: What?! You were trying to take over the world?
But of course, you can see where those plans got me today.
Spike: Going to the bathroom in a scented sandbox.
Mezmo: He's already spent forty-one years of his hundred year sentence. Although, I've only had him for eight of those years. He used to live with my friends, Hilda and Zelda, but they
Salem: They decided that I was too much of a burden on them, so they sent me across space time to dump me onto him. *looks to Mezmo* Was that what you were trying to say, kid?
at least they gave you to a family member, didn't they?
Salem: Yeah, whatever. You don't know what it's like. Have you ever had to take medicine for heart worms?
Pinkie: *giggles* He's funny.
Salem: *sarcastically* Oh yeah, just call me the life of the party
Rarity: I guess I understand why you'd keep it secret for so long. But what about now that the cat's out of the bag?
Salem: Is that some kind of wisecrack?
Rarity: Sorry, slipped out.
Mezmo: Well, I'm not sure, to be honest. I mean, a talking cat really isn't that weird to me. I live in a town full of talking PONIES, for crying out loud!!
Twilight: Well maybe we should be discreet about it, we don't want there to be a big commotion about him.
Mezmo: So I just keep Salem locked up in the house all day and never take him outside?
Twilight: Sorry, Mezmo, I don't know what to do in a situation like this.
Mezmo: Then who WOULD know?
Spike: You don't think the princess would, do you?
Mezmo: *raises an eyebrow* Princess? As in Princess Celestia? THE Princess Celestia?
Twilight: I suppose it's worth a shot. I'll set up a meeting with her right away.
Mezmo: *looks to Salem* Wow! How cool is that, Salem? We get to meet Princess Celestia, the supreme ruler of all Equestria, herself!
Salem: Let me just change into my formal collar. The little white one with the tiny black bow tie.
*The next day, Mezmo, Salem and the Mane Five arrived at Canterlot Palace, where they met in the throne room with a tall white Alicorn with gold jewelry and a crown, along with a sparkling rainbow mane and tail, and a large sun cutie mark on both her flanks. This was Princess Celestia, ruler of all Equestria*
Mezmo: *bows before Celestia, removing his hat* Thank you for setting aside some time in your busy schedule to meet with us, your majesty. First, let me just say that it is a great honor to be in your presence here today.
Princess Celestia: And it is an honor to finally meet you as well, Mr. Mandrake. Twilight has kept me informed in her reports about your progress. Luna also seemed to really enjoy your company with her at the Calypso show.
Mezmo: Thank you, your majesty, *stands up and puts his hat back on* And I assume Twilight has already informed you about the current situation?
Princess Celestia: Yes, about your uncle's current predicament.
Mezmo: Great, great, grand-uncle, actually.
Princess Celestia: Yes, well, I'm not quite sure what you want me to do. From what I've been told, this was his fault.
Mezmo: Well, Twilight's just worried that somepony will accidentally catch him talking and freak out or something.
Princess Celestia: I see. I might have one idea of something we can try, with his consent of course.
Salem: Lay it on me, your royal poniness.
Princess Celestia: I could try adding a small enchantment onto him. One that will make hiding him a little easier.
Twilight: How would that work, Princess?
Princess Celestia: The enchantment would make it so that only those who know the truth about Salem will be the only ones who can understand him. To everyone else, they'll just hear simple mews and other cat sounds.
Salem: So I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone else except for Mezmo and his friends? Dag nabbit!
Princess Celestia: Not quite. If anyone were to learn the truth, even if they don't believe it at first, will also be able to hear you speak.
Salem: Ooh, a loophole! Nice.
Princess Celestia: This enchantment will not only help you hide the truth, but will make it so that this secret will only be known by those we can trust with it.
Sounds reasonable enough.
Princess Celestia: *her horn begins to glow* Now then, shall we?
Salem: This isn't gonna hurt, is it?
Princess Celestia: It won't, I promise.
Salem: Alright then, ZAP ME, BABY!!!
*Princess Celestia then tapped her horn onto Salem's head. Suddenly, a wave of yellow light radiated outward and swept the area and beyond*
Mezmo: Nice touch
Rainbow Dash: How do we know if it worked?
*Just then, Princess Luna came trotting into the throne room*
Mezmo: *sees Luna, eyes widen in fear* Uh
Princess Luna: Sister, what was with that magic wave just now?
Princess Celestia: I was just demonstrating a spell to Twilight. She brought Mezmo with her and he brought his cat.
Salem: Testing, testing, one, two, three. Is the spell working?
Princess Luna: Aww, a cat, how delightful. Hello there, little thing.
Salem: I am talking to you! Can you hear me? Hello? Earth to pony lady!
*To everyone else, Salem's words came in loud and clear. But to Princess Luna, all she could hear were meows and purrs*
Mezmo: Can you
Princess Luna: Of course I can hear him. He has the sweetest sounding mews.
Salem: It worked!! Ha ha!
Princess Luna: Aww
Listen to him purr. It's so sweet. *picks up Salem with the magic in her horns and starts nuzzling him*
Mezmo: Uh, could I have my cat back? Please?
Luna: Oh, of course, here you are. *levitates Salem over to Mezmo*
Mezmo: *takes Salem in his arms* T-Thanks
Twilight: Well, thank you so much for all your help princess.
Princess Celestia: Your welcome Twilight. Oh, before you go, do any of you have a friendship report for me?
Twilight: I think I might. I think we've learned that even the most well hidden secret can come out and true friends should be as opened minded about them as possible. After all, if you can't trust a friend, who can you trust?
Princess Celestia: *smiles* That was a wonderful lesson, Twilight.
Princess Luna: *raises an eyebrow* Did I miss something?
Princess Celestia: It's a long story, dear sister. I'll explain it to you over tea.
Mezmo: Well, thanks again, your majesty. Now, I think it's best that we all be getting home now.
Princess Celestia: Very well, Mr. Mandrake. I hope you come to visit again soon.
*The next day, Fluttershy had arrived in Ponyville. She was walking up to Twilight's library with her bags in tow*
Fluttershy: Hello! Anyone there? I'm back from Neighpon and I brought gifts.
Twilight: *from inside* Oh Fluttershy, come on in.
*Fluttershy opened the door and saw all of her friends waiting for her*
Everyone: Welcome home, Fluttershy!!
Fluttershy: Oh, I'm so glad to see everyone again. As beautiful as Neighpon is, its good to be home. Did I miss anything while I was away?
Mezmo: Oh, not much.
Rainbow Dash: Turns out Mezmo's cat is actually his Great, great, grand-uncle and can talk.
Fluttershy: *raises an eyebrow* Rainbow, I may be shy, but I'm not gullible.
Salem: Oh, I don't know. You look like the gullible type to me.
Fluttershy: *eyes widen and faints*
Salem: *sarcastically* Was it something I said?